Have you ever been in a relationship that you felt was toxic? I mean, with someone close to you. I’m talking about a relationship that brings out the worst part of you? If you have ever used the phrase, “I’m, going to forgive, but I won’t forget,” or “I’ll wash my hands of you,” let me share something with you right quick.
I honestly didn’t imagine I would deal with something like this. As we get older and develop, the people who once knew us don’t know the changes we’ve made. They still treat us how they remembered us. But before you get caught up, remember you have also done the same thing, child, don’t think you’re exempt. It’s okay though, because this post is about change; let’s get into it.
We can be so hard on ourselves that we create false realities. Wait… Let me talk about myself for a moment. I remember being so hard on myself when I was in this situation that I created false realities. I knew I was entirely right with every bone in my body, but who thinks they are wrong in these times. I’ve been told I can’t let other people control how I respond or let someone bring me out of character. The Bible says we should turn the other cheek, BUT LORDT, my cheek hurts. I mean, this person wants to kill me. It feels like they push every button, find ways to make me upset, talk sarcastically to me… their hand is around my neck, and what am I supposed to do? I feel like I need to stand up for myself so they understand that I have feelings, but it’s hard.
Whoa…Let me just stop right here and say that if you or someone you know is being abused mentally or physically GET out. I know that is easier said than done.
Ya’ll Ready for the plot twist ?
#1. WWJD: I remember wearing these bracelets growing up, and if I consider what Jesus did, he let them kill him. He also, in the midst of it, would forgive. HELLO… this hit close to home because we say we want to be like Jesus, but when we are tested, we fail. I mean, Lord you left some big shoes to fill. I’m talking about a God who came bearing good news and was beaten, talked about, and betrayed by someone close to him. So you want me to turn the other cheek? I hear you, Lord!
Just so you know, you will be tested again since you failed, but Lord, please grant us the ability to call on you, so we can finally pass this test. For those that are literal, I’m not saying you should let someone kill you, but I hope you get the gist.
#2 You can only control YOU: I’m a person who is big on talking about things. As a communication specialist, I guess I’ve learned the importance of it. However, I also understand you may never get the closure you want in any relationship. I prefer to talk about a disagreement with mutual apologies, but I’ve learned that no matter how ideal it would be, it is not the case. Sometimes it may not be the right timing; the person doesn’t care or want to rectify the situation with you. Then what? child, don’t cry or force a conversation. I did this, but it didn’t get me anywhere. I recommend doing your part and working to control yourself. If the relationship matters to you try to work it out, if they don’t hear you- try to bring a mutual party in the mix and if that doesn’t work, you have to move one.
Additionally, I suggest a therapist instead of talking to family or close friends. I believe in prayer, but I believe God equipped professionals to handle their profession -and a therapist just hits different.
#3 Life is just too short: People usually respond because of the things they have going on inside of them. I remember having a temper growing up and feeling like I had to fight anyone that looked at me crazy. I thought I was too soft, and people didn’t respect me. That mindset got me NOWHERE but could’ve had me in jail. We don’t know what makes people respond the way they do, and that’s for them to figure out and control.
Let’s remember to cherish people we come in contact with. Whether we consider them close or not, we don’t know what they are going through and you may be the last person who could’ve provided positivity in their lives. I’ve heard the saying, “give me my flowers while I’m alive.” and “kill them with kindness” that’s your weapon.
With all that said, I know someone is reading this and thinking that’s good, but I can’t follow this advice. The truth is you don’t know how long you have. It’s not going to happen overnight, but make the necessary steps needed and remember WWJD.
#ToTurnTheOtheCheekorNah – what will you do ?
